East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
