why do cheetos always look like penises
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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