1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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