dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
