I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
