he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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