I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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