her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
