pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
