I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
