boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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