I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
