Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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