I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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