It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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