i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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