Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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