Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
