By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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