Ketchup is God's man juice
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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