I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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