I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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