id be glad to
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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