Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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