dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the day after is always just damage control
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
