he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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