you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
