Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
