I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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