the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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