No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
