I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
