you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
