I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
