we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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