marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
