Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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