Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
