hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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