omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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