Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
