you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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