whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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