i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
do herpes really smell.
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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