My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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