i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
