Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
