I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
