She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
