The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i now understand why vodka
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize