I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
