I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just high enough for therapy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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