I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
