we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
