ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
