We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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