bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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