love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
